The Mel Word

I'm sick of school. I'm just sitting here wasting my time. I'm not learning anything in any of my classes except for my Cisco class. I'm so sick of the school system. I'm so sick of our society. Please don't write me off saying "Oh, he's just another angsty teen that doesn't like school". You know why so many people don't like school? Because it's stupid! They don't care if we learn things. They care that we jump through hoops and memorize things for tests. They couldn't care less if we remember what we learn after we take the test. Granted there are things we do learn in school but I could (and do) learn much more and much faster on my own than in school.

And I'm sick of people thinking I'm crazy. Maybe I am crazy but they could at least hear me out first before putting me on a bunch of meds. I'm not depressed because of some chemical imbalance. I'm depressed because I can see how screwed up everything is and I can see that I've been lied to and I feel like I'm walking around with my eyes open watching everyone else be blindfolded and walking into things. No, that's not right. I'm still partially blind. I'm still in the process of removing my blindfold but I can still watch people running into things. And no one will believe me. No one will listen to me.

I get sent to shrinks who say "Hmm, you seem depressed and you seem to have a problem fitting into mainstream society. Here, let me give you some drugs." I hate my meds. I'm going to gradually come off of them. I don't need them and I don't want them.

Yeah, I pretty much never post in this thing. I've been out and about having this thing called a life. Plus I'm just not into sharing everything about myself online for everyone to see. Right now though, I'm sick. I've got a sinus infection. Sucks, eh? So I've been sitting at home doing nothing for three days. Okay, I wasn't doing nothing. I was playing games on neopets, I admit it. *hangs head in shame* I also watched Tank Girl a couple of times. Man that is a great movie. I'm back in school today. Of course, it's only a half day and the only reason I'm here is because I want to actually do something later. In my house, the rule is "if you're too sick to go to school, you're too sick to hang out with people", which makes sense to me.

In other news, I've been advised to make my twitter updates friends only. Apparently people are spying on me! By people I mean my friend's mother and apparently my old school? Well whatever, I don't care. They can stalk me on twitter all they like. Heaven forbid they find out " I need more sleep." or "I'm in yearbook and I'm boooored but the weekend comes soon! :D" Yes, I have very deep and personal Twitter updates, don't I?

What interests me more is the fact that I've got two new followers on Twitter. One is 100000friends and the other is Jake Marsh. Now, the first one is obviously just someone trying to get a ton of friends just for the sake of saying they did. I'm not sure who this Jake person is though. O.o He follows a lot of people on Twitter though so maybe he is too? I don't think I actually know him and I don't see why he would want to randomly follow my Twitter.

I'll be voting in the upcoming election. I'm excited about that. You bet I'll be registering as soon as I turn 18! :D

Problem is, I don't know who I'm going to vote for. I'll probably end up voting for whoever ends up as the Democratic runner. (I can't vote in the primaries)

Someone asked me if I was going to vote for whoever supports same-sex marriage. No. There aren't a lot of candidates who support same-sex marriage. There are some who oppose same-sex marriage but support civil unions. That's cool with me. What it really comes down too is that unless the canidate is uber zelous about outlawing same-sex marriage, then it isn't that important to me. There are more important issues.

My English teacher recomended that I read the book Ishmael. It is incredible. I don't want to tell to much about it because I don't want to spoil it for anyone but I highly recomend it to anyone that is interested in ethics, philosophy, sociology, religion, etc.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ishmael_(novel)

My apologies about the blog layout. Blogger doesn't seem to like me right now. I changed the template to see if I could get my header image to work but now it keeps telling me that the url for my header image is wrong. It's not wrong though. >.<

Ehh, I'll fix it later. I need to actually do yearbook work now.

I’ve been debating whether or not to take Testosterone. I’m not going to take it right now but I think I may take it (with prescription) when I’m older. Part of me says “no, I don’t need that to make me a man.” And there are some possible side effects to taking T. The other part of me says that maybe the T will make me more comfortable with myself.

I’ve heard of people who have taken T who have said that afterwards they finally felt comfortable in their own skin. Too often I feel like I just cannot stand my body. I don’t mean that I hate my nose, or hair, or legs or weight (although I wouldn’t mind losing a few pounds). I mean that I just feel like I do not fit my body. I know God gave me my body. I try to take care of it. But too often I just feel this horrible disgusting feeling.

Another reason I want to take T is because although I can usually pass now, it will be harder as I get older. Without T, I doubt I will ever be able to pass as a grown man.

I spent New Years Eve with my parents, my dog, and my best friend Jen. It was pretty fun. Jen and I watched tv, played Mille Bornes and had a video chat with one of our other friends. Maybe I'm just lame but to me that is fun.

I go back to school tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to that. I don't really mind my classes too much I've just gotten used to being able to sleep in. haha. Since I'll be in school though, I'll be updating more frequently. I update more at school than I do at home.